Love, Darrows.

Quentin Darrows. My guy. Book one of the duology…although I love to call them a duet more. A picky, uptight fellow. And the guy I’m pimping out right now.

Ish.

Querying him is difficult. Because his tale is as old as the idea of sand yet entirely new and modern. Because he is gay, and while everyone says they want that diverse character, not everyone mentions that on what they want to see in their query inboxes, so I’m questioning whether I chose the right agent.

Because much like I do with people IRL, I take a big sister approach to my guy. I don’t want anyone to put him down, or belittle him whether it’s for being gay or because this story is admittedly on the far side of a normal teen going to a normal high school and falling in love…but it’s just a love story. And I will defend it him them to the end.

Because my family, when this gets published, will NOT be happy with me because they don’t accept gays or lesbians or any one they perceive as not being ‘normal’. Which is highly sad because they’re missing out on a lot of great people. That and causes a lot of riffs among us. This may very well put that final stamp on my familial exile.

Because I love these two. Alone. Together. They’re unique and different. Unlike any other characters I’ve read, and I’ve been reading a lot lately. To have someone turn them down…For me, it equates to being back in high school. I was the weird girl who never fit in, but embraced her oddness and really flaunted it. It hurt to have people judge me or oust me because I’m different…Weird. I don’t want my guys to be judged for being too far off what someone would expect, but I am fully expecting it to happen.

So why am I scared? All of the above, sure. I mean, my other series, Human Touch isn’t quite the norm, either. And I was nervous submitting those queries, but I was never crying-and-throwing-up-as-though-I-got-a-positive-on-a-pregnancy-test-when-he-promised-the-condoms-weren’t-expired sort of scared to death.

Two so far. That’s all I’ve been able to get out there. Two queries. Today.

We’ll see if this goes anywhere. I’d love for it to, because I know in my heart Quentin and Lex are two great guys that need to be shared. I just need to get over this fear and get them out there.

Why am I so scared?

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Filed under author woes, human touch, love carter, love darrows, love story, publish it, query, self-doubt

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