The Writer’s Voice – query and first 250, Love, Darrows

May 20, 2015

Potential Mentor(s)/Agent(s)
The Writer’s Voice
Brenda Drake’s Blog

Dear Potential Mentor(s)/Agent(s),

Quentin Darrows is a seventeen-year-old, high school senior who’s popular in school, an over-achieving Wünderkid, and a Cupid in training. There’s nothing that brings him more joy than creating a new love. It gives him life and purpose. There is one thing that trumps Cupid for Quent, and that’s his best friend, Lexington Carter. Lex is a major player among the females of Romulus High—Go Wolves!—but he is also Quentin’s boyfriend and possible destined love that all Cupid are said to have.

Life couldn’t get any better for Quent and Lex. They had a great, enlightening weekend at Lex’s lake house. They came out as a couple to both of their families. And they have plans for the biggest announcement of all. Monday morning they’ll kiss on the Quad—Romulus’ answer to the Roman Coliseum—officially announcing their love for each other in front of everyone at school. Monday comes, but Lex doesn’t pick Quent up for school as planned. When Quent finally finds him, Lex is either very hateful or just flat-out ignoring Quent. What happened in that twelve short hours after they parted Sunday night? To confuse Quent more, the new girl, Psyche Xenakis, is on his radar. He suddenly has this insatiable need to kiss her and be near her every moment of the day. Quent knows at his very core he’s gay, so how is Psyche becoming the love of Quent’s life so fast when he’s not even close to being over Lex?  Why is Quent’s world suddenly so upside down? Will he ever get Lex back and feel like himself again?

I am currently seeking representation for my YA novel Love, Darrows, told from the perspective of Quentin Darrows. This story is a contemporary YA that mixes Roman and Greek mythologies in a modern day twist on the classic Cupid tales. It is LGBTQ and diversity friendly. It is complete at 89,927 words. There is a second book to this duet written in first draft. The Love, Darrows manuscript is available, in full or in part, upon request.

Thank you for your time and consideration of Love, Darrows. As requested, I have copied and pasted the first two hundred and fifty words of Love, Darrows below. (To finish out the last sentence puts it at 258 words.)

DJ Siciliano

Love, Darrows

The morning scramble. Less delicious than it sounds. It consists of running around, last minute, trying to not forget anything. Clothes, preppy and colorful. Teeth brushed, breath minty. Hair, every strand in place. Books. Shove books into backpack. Backpack on shoulder. Stairs. Overbearing mother.

“Quent, take a moment and eat something.”

“Sorry, Vee. No time. Lex will be here any minute.” The backpack takes a chair as I shove my arms into my jacket.

Overbearing mother sticks a banana in one hand as it emerges. She sticks a small glass of almond milk in the other hand as I shrug the jacket onto my shoulders. “Eat!”

There’s never any arguing with the self-proclaimed goddess of our household. The almond milk slides down my throat in a gulp. The banana is peeled and takes about three bites and a hamster cheek to fully consume. The peel hits the counter and I go for my backpack.


Saved by the blaring horn. A blissful poetic justice.

“Bye, Vee.” I book it to the front door, overbearing mother not too far behind me.

“Can’t you call me mom just once?”

I turn at the door and give Vee a quick kiss on the cheek. “You told me you were too young to ever be referred to as ‘Mom’.” I step into the cool humid air of a late, sunny September morning. Lex’s car is sitting at the curb. The windows are too darkly tinted to see anyone, though.

“That was in public. You are free to call me mom at home.”



Filed under contest, love carter, love darrows, love story, Pitch Wars, pitmad, query, the writer's voice

115 responses to “The Writer’s Voice – query and first 250, Love, Darrows

  1. Great premise and a fab beginning – good luck!


  2. lxcllr

    Good first 250, I dig the voice. Good luck!


  3. Love your premise, and the first 250. The voice rings true from a teen boys’ viewpoint (I’d guess). 🙂 Best of luck to you in the contest!


  4. Love your voice. Unique and interesting. Good luck!


  5. Wow. A YA C with Roman and Greek mythologies? What a killer hook!

    I’m super super intrigued, but I do think the query could use some tightening. Kill phrases that don’t add much to the rest of the query (popular, overachieving, Go Wolves, Lex being a major player) as they pull focus away from the real good stuff — the Cupid angle. Also, how does Quentin being a cupid play into the rest of the story? The first paragraph leads me to think it’s about this guy learning how to create love, but the second paragraph sounds like it’s about a guy’s relationship and identity issues. They’re not fitting together for me right now.

    Is the focus of the story those 12 hours or is it Psyche disrupting him? The entire query leads me to those 12 hours, and then suddenly the Psyche plot pops up at the end and changes the direction too.


    • Very great advice, thank you. I am taking this and truly thinking about what you’ve said. Maybe after playing around with it, something good will click.


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