Tag Archives: matt lanter

I’m lost. Again.

The doldrums of just having completed a novel, series or not, is really taking its toll. I miss my guys. I miss them insulting each other, kissing all the time. I miss them just being together. My guys…

Well, as close as I can get to what I have going on in my head. Lex is more tan, darker hair always in a beanie. White-grey eyes. Grunged out to back in the 90s. Six feet tall. Lackadaisical. I LOVE HIM! And Q (Quent, Quentin) is the same hair with curls at the end and sandier. Speaks without a Brit accent. Has a slightly more rounded face. Preppy as though life will end should a shirt not come with an embroidered emblem on it. I LOVE HIM TOO!

My guys. They’ve been with me every single day for the past seven (ish) months. Since that day I walked into my kitchen after having gone shopping and it hit me, why couldn’t this one being be different from how everyone else perceives him. And it literally avalanched from there. I started writing out in journals trying to find his voice, making notes on his world, others in his world, rules he has to abide by, and it grew and grew until I had this being and his best friend. Before I knew it, chapters were frenetically flying from my fingers onto documents in my computer, page after page quickly filling.

And now, they’re done.

It’s like breaking up with someone you’ve been dating exclusively for a very long time, and suddenly you find yourself sitting at your favorite little nook, hoping to catch a smile or a glance should they happen by, but they don’t show. Because it’s done. Over. I’m sure we’ll slide back into bed at some point as I try to get them published, but it could never be the same as what we had for all that time.

*Heavy sigh*

I miss my guys. I can’t be the only author who can’t let her characters go…I guess that’s how series came about…oh, and fan fiction…Wait…I could write a FF about my story…and save it until my book it published then post it…

Suggestions for moving on? Any advice out there?

In the meantime, I have entered Love, Darrows into PitchWars, the Sorry! edition. We’ll see on March 2nd if I made it past an entry. If not, I can and will query this baby out. *fingers crossed*

gifs from Giphy and the topmost image is my own edit.


Filed under author woes, love carter, love darrows, Pitch Wars

Flirting with Death.

Seriously. I’m a drunk person with a pistol. And it’s shaky, I’m nervous. But I take aim and fire. Hit and miss this time. I try again. Closer but not quite. A third time and I hit my target dead on. I scream out and cry, tears falling in streams. I hit him. Me. I did that. I killed him. And I can’t take it back. And…

Maybe it’s not right. He should be alive and walk away from this event, slightly scathed, but alive. Still the tears, but ones of joy. I can hug him and say, “You made it. You lived this horrible thing. I’m so happy,” and he’ll hug me in return, uttering a small “Thanks”.

But then I turn and the other one perished. And when one dies, the other will follow as per the rules of their world. But they can’t die, can they?

And so is the dilemma I’m facing. Three possible endings to this book. I’ve been flirting with them all, seeing who the best contender is…but they’re all equal in weight and heft. One might have a tattoo,

and okay, tattoos are nice…but the other has glasses

his super bowl bet was amazing. Chris Evans has a heart of gold people.

and I do so adore a guy in glasses….

adding this one for you, kiTT…since you might not get the Chris Evans point of this…

but the third has the best personality and how do you choose from that?

not that Matt Lanter isn’t hot, but he’s married and just a sweet guy

I have to make a decision. I can’t have all three…well, I could write out all three endings, but that’s getting a little greedy to say they all can win.

And that’s where I’m at in writing out the second novel in this two book series. How do I look into my character’s faces and say one of you must die? It’s heartbreaking. But then to do something everyone does and dish out an HEA (Happily Ever After) would be great for them, because I so love these two together, but it’s typical, but it would work…

What am I going to do? Who will make it out alive? Or should I just kill them all?

Good question.

Hopefully I’ll be crawling out of my author cave with an answer soon.


Filed under author woes, book boyfriends, CW dramas rule, write

Taking a break from writing…

In honor of kiTT’s birthday (the fabulous TongueTwied), it’s time for another episode of:

Theme music:

*West Twilight Hills High*

“Hey, Steve. What’s up with that grin? Who are you looking at?”

 “The new girl? What new girl?”

“No! Not her, Steve! She’s such a mean girl.”

“Her either. You can’t ever tell what she’s thinking.”

Ah, the new girl. “She’s…cute, I suppose.”

i'm cool

“Whatever you say, New Girl.” As if she can show up at Twilight Hills High and be instantly loved by everyone. Not like she’s…

*tardy bell* We’re late for first.

Oh, geez, they’re at it again.
“Dylan, Brenda, tardy bell!”

“Hey Liam, Annie.” I see they’re dating now. Shocker.

Kelly and Brandon are so cute together.

“Don’t ever say Brandon is cute out loud, New Girl.”

Too late. Andrea already overheard us and now we’re on her lisTT. Her obsession with Brandon Walsh is going way too far. She scares me. I’ll just duck behind Donna and David in hopes their argument distracts her.

Computer class. Something out of the 80s. Our school’s computers are so old, they’re vampires hiding out for a century, trying to blend into modern-day life in our small Pacific Northwest town of seven hundred.

“George.” Surprised he has a shirt on today. Not surprised he’s causing some waves at Twilight Hills High.

“Two girlfriends? You lie, George!”

The rumor mill is in fast forward as George talks about Liam two-timing Annie. Then he has Kelly and Dylan dating as if Brenda and Brandon don’t exist in Twilight Hills, 98210. And the Cullen kids…everyone is saying they’re brothers and sisters who are dating each other. Gross me out. I know for a fact Emmett and Alice are dating the Hale twins and Edward has become fascinated with that new girl.

Not her. Her.

I can’t keep up with George’s absurd theories anymore. As if living in this school everyday wasn’t high drama enough. Can’t wait for lunch.

*commercial break*

*non-paid ad sponsored by Jeanette*
*the following, blah blah, views of this blog, blah blah, disclaimer stuff*

Happy Birthday to you, my little Jenny from the block. You always make sure the RobSquad has amazing birthdays and we want to give you the same. Ryan Gosling will be around to cook you breakfast, lunch and dinner in bed. Mini will be doing all the chores and HB will be running all the errands to leave you with nothing to do but relax and enjoy. All television stations will be showing 90210 for the entire 24-hour period of your birthday. Radio stations will solely be playing your favorite songs from the 80s and no buses will be anywhere near your peaceful environment. Enjoy! Love you, babe! ~Jeanette.

*lunch time at West Twilight Hills High*

“Hey, new girl, sit with us!”

“Okay, let’s get you acquainted with the who’s who of school. You have the Populars who tend to hang out with only themselves as if this world of Twilight Hills revolves around them and them only.”

“Then you have the Everydays who are cute and sweet, but don’t let that fool you, they are as high drama as they come around this school.”

“I know right! Too bad he’s taken.”

The New Girl stares at the table. The Cullen table.

“They’re the Cullens and the Hales. They only hang out amongst themselves. And date amongst themselves. They never talk to anyone around here. It’s like they’re too blood thirsty to hang out with the rest of us or something. Weird, right?”

“Oh him…? Wait, he’s coming over here. Act casual.”

Of course he’d talk to the New Girl while ignoring the rest of the school. Hello? It’s depressing. I can’t… This is too much.

Looks like the Cullen and Hale duets are actually going to eat something today. Good. Half the school has bets they’re anorexic. I don’t think that. Look at Emmett…he’s built. If anything he only downs protein shakes. And Jasper looks mighty fine just the way he is…mighty fine cowboy…with that Texas twang…and…sorry.

 Anyway, I’m glad Jasper dumped Annie for Alice. They’re just adorable together. And Annie seems so happy with Liam…although, having Liam off the market now is a bummer. Wait…what is Annie doing with Naomi? And they’re eating ice cream and wearing summer outfits? Showing off for guys, I’m sure. As if this is July and not November.

Since when are they friends? I thought they hated each other.

Can’t believe the New Girl said that to Edward? Ugh. Wait…Where did he go?
“What do you mean he just took off?”

“Not him. That’s Edward Sullen. One of the funniest guys at this school. He’s cute and possibly available. Umm…I don’t see Edward by the apples at the salad bar. Let’s go check outside.”

Wait. There he is. George was right in one respect. Edward does have a thing for new girls. I mean look at him…he’s dumping the other new girl already… Sheesh. This will be his third one in a week. He cycles through them as though he’s running the around the bases after hitting a homer. As if the rest of the girls at this school are pretty little liars and too easy to read. Not like our blood can’t be fresh and inviting. I’m not jealous.

“Hey, George.” No shirt. That wasn’t long.

“Go to the beach? As long as the New Girl is in…”

Nothing like a day at the beach in November when you live on the west coast.

*commercial break*

*at Twilight Hills Beach Club*

It’s like everyone is here but the Cullens and Hales as they don’t ever come to the beach. Rumor is they’ll melt in the water, but to inhale their intoxicating scent, you know that’s not true; they must shower all the time.

The other new girl says Edward never comes around because he sparkles like mica in the sand on a sunny day. At first, the thought of Sullen wearing all those gold chains came to mind that year he was going through his rapper phase, but then Cullen did have that job at the strip club over in Port Angeles this past summer…as if the other new girl knew anything more about Edward Cullen than the people who have been going to school with him for years.

“New Girl, Steve and Brandon are checking us out.”

No! The new girl is waving at them. Great. That means…*slowly turns around* Yep. Andrea is doing her creeper stare. One day, Andrea will snap and come after us with a knife and hack us to pieces before cooking us like headless rabbits.

*small wave* “Hi, Andrea.” It’s best to stay on her good side.

 “There’s Liam. We’ll, see you later, guys.”

The man knows how to make a surf outfit in November look good. I do wonder why Annie isn’t with him though.

Wait… there’s Cullen. That other new girl is so full of iTT! Yeah, Cullen sparkles…charisma-wise sure, but dazzling in the sun? Oh please. She’s just jealous he’s flirting with the New Girl, pulling a surf stunt on land… And all the guys playing along with him, a rarity…

by Kelly

by Kelly

“Who’s birthday? The New Girl’s?”

“House Party for sure!”

Apparently word gets around the beach fast. As we stop for fuel, we run into the Monkeys, and they’re all over the idea of a birthday bash.

*commercial break*

*Sponsored ad paid by Lisa-17Forever*
*blah blah, whatever legal mumbo jumbo goes here, blah blah*

NEVER THINK that I don’t want you to have an awesome birthday. ALL I NEED is for you to WAKE up today to a PAPER HEART made by mini that says, “SHE WILL BE LOVED” and that’s signed by mini and ATP, Then I’ll know you day was HEAVEN. ~Lisa

*party at Brenda and Brandon’s house*

“The New Girl’s arrived! Let’s get this party underway!”

One, I can’t believe New Girl showed at the party that drunk. Two, if she wants to be that easy, well…she’s got the exact right school to act like that. Three, if Edward’s dancing style turns her on that much, maybe they are meant to be together.

“Let’s get some food into you.”

In the kitchen, we find the party hosts…

“This is great, guys! Thanks for throwing this bash!”

Odd that they aren’t holed up in their bedrooms with their dates like they tend to do at these things.Something isn’t right about this.

“Stay here and eat your cake, New Girl. I’ll be right back.”

“Liam, have you seen Kelly or Dylan?”

“I’ll take that as a no? … Yes? … Maybe? Thanks for your lack of help.”
Where are they? I’ll ask George…Shirtless, of course.

“Obviously not, Edward.”

Can’t believe he’s toasting my sudden awakening into the truth.

“Quit telling me I told you so. Where are they? Brenda and Brandon are getting suspicious.”

The rooftop deck. Not quite the place I’d expect two “friends” to be. They had better not be together. Twilight Hills cannot take any more break-up drama.

Whoa! Liam and Naomi? Okay, I’ve gotta go before they see me. I can’t let Annie know anything about this. She’ll run back to Jasper, Jasper will dump Alice in a heartbeat. Okay, now I need to find Kelly and Dylan and somehow distract Annie from Liam’s whereabouts. Too much, too fast.

It’s not a party until Brandon and Steve sing their best friend song.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, the Monkeys from the OC showed. No one wants the dorks from Oregon Coast High snagging all our party treats. I need to get the guys to uninvite them. “Who said you guys could be here?”

The New Girl, of course. She could at least apologize.

Yep. She totally hammered.

Edward smells her blood alcohol and quickly offers to take care of her. I trust him, though. George told me he was a virgin…and he’s been right about everyone else lately. So that would make him a 111 year old virgin? So that exists in Twilight Hills, 98210. I just wish he didn’t like her when there are much better blue bloods at our school that would taste much sweeter. Not saying myself…but whatever.

And then there they were. Kelly and Dylan. Hanging all over each other. As though it’s no big deal to be doing this to Brandon and Brenda in their home, at their party.

 Do I tell Brandon or Brenda? Do I say something to Kelly or Dylan? Too many secrets…too many things seen…Why do these parties always get so out of hand? I’ve got to find George, tell him he was right about Liam, ask his advice about Brandon and Brenda…

“Ummm…George? Who’s this dude?”

Hold on. Alice is doing her far off stare…meaning she’s seeing something about the future that will affect us all.

“What is it Alice? What do you see?”

*End of Episode*

NOOOOOO!!! Who was that guy George was with and will he ever wear a shirt for the whole day? Who is Liam really dating, Annie or Naomi, or are the girls dating each other and stringing Liam along? Does that mean he’d be free to date again? Is it really true that Kelly is with Dylan? And no way Donna likes David. Will Edward ever stop wanting new girls? Will Sullen ever hand over his phone number? Will Jasper run back to Annie after all or will he team up with Liam for the ultimate revenge? At least we won’t have any more creeper stares….By the way, why has Andrea and Steve never hooked up? Seems a rather logical pairing…since they’re both loners in this world of…

Hope this is the BEST REAL FAKE BIRTHDAY EVER, kiTT!!!
Lots of Love from the RobSquad!


Filed under a story, having fun, Jackson Rathbone